Dear Käfer!

Only 100 days until Christmas Eve. Only 100 days until we are supposed to meet you.

Well, they say you could come any time between two weeks before or after that date. But then, your Mama is a planner and a tad bit of a control freak so she is expecting you to be on time (or maybe a bit earlier?). No pressure, kleine Maus.

While others may start to think about Christmas and what their plans are for the holidays, your Papa and I only have one thought: When can we finally be with our little baby girl?

Oh, your name. Let me clarify that you are not a tiny insect (Käfer = bug). You are a little baby girl living and growing in my tummy. So far, Papa and I haven’t agreed on a name for you. We have a couple of favorites and have decided to wait until we can talk to you about your name. We think you should have a say in all of this.

You pretty much consume our lives. And that is a good thing! Sometimes I think of pizza with tuna and red onions at 3am in the morning when I stumble out of bed to pee, or I read smart books about how to perfectly burp a baby, or I contemplate for hours over paint chips and color palettes for your nursery. Or I drag Papa into cute baby stores and show him all the cute outfits I want to buy for you. (Funny that in the end Papa is the one who buys a cute dress for you. He is now actually mildly obsessed with dresses. For you, I mean.)

Speaking of obsession: I have been working hard on your nursery (and even harder on your Papa to allow me to create the cutest nursery ever) because I know how important the right shade of Aqua and the matching Burnt Orange accents will be to you. If you are anything like me, you will start reading Martha Stewart Living magazines before chewing on silly baby books with pigs and cats in them.

I promise you will have the most perfect place to sleep and play in. After all, we moved out of the city to have more space for our growing family. Papa did not mind that sacrifice. He is pretty excited about fixing up that backyard so you can play safely outside when you are a bit older. I think, Papa is secretly hoping that you would be as crazy about his herb garden as he is. Promise me to show at least some interest when he proudly presents one of his homegrown tomatoes to you! Men need to be respected and validated. A pad on the shoulder telling them how awesome they are and that you thank them for their provision gets you a lot! (More about the secrets of a man’s heart and soul when you are older…)

We keep wondering what you will look like – maybe you will have Mama’s nose and smile, Papa’s gentle eyes and gray hair (wait!)? What about our gifts and likes? Will you prefer orange juice with pulp (like Papa) or without (like Mama)? But none of that really matters (hm, we still want you to look cute, though) as long as you are healthy. We already counted your toes and fingers, your arms and legs and every time we are listening to your heartbeat, we are told that you have a strong heartbeat. My doctor keeps telling me how active you are. As if I couldn’t tell!

One of our favorite things to do: Papa is putting his hand on my belly and talks to you. Sometimes you respond with a kick.

On that note, what are you doing in my belly? Somersaults (Koppsaboelter)? Are you dancing? Practicing penalty kicks like Beckham? Either way, keep it up. Because it shows me that you’re doing fine! But we will eventually have to discuss all this pressuring my spine and head-butting my bladder when you are a bit older.

It’s funny, you’re not even born yet and you already have heaps of fans besides your parents. There are, of course, your grandparents in Germany – Omi Christiane und Opi Udo, your two great grandmothers, your Tante Meike, my beautiful sister, and her husband Robert. There are my Girlfriends – a group of absolutely amazing women who share everything in life together. And all of Papa’s family in Southern California and lots and lots of friends who love your Mama and Papa and therefore already love you.

Also, we have chosen the best godparents for you: our dear friends Jen and Joe. Joe will soon be a famous actor and Jen is already a super star so, yeah, you can thank us later.

Let’s take a moment and be honest, the one thing that truly sucks about living in California is that we’re so far away from our family in Germany. But we promise to take you on a plane to Germany as soon as it is safe and we have gotten used to each other.

But back to you.

I hope you are enjoying to bounce around in my belly for the next 14 weeks. Since we heard the great news about your existence, we stopped praying for ourselves and started praying for you. We pray that, no matter what any doctor’s reports may tell us, you will be healthy and whole. We pray protection over your and our lives so that we can enjoy spending many, many years together. We pray that God gave you only the best of us. Who knows maybe you will be blessed with an insane talent that neither Papa nor I have? God does that sometimes.

My dear Käfer, as I continue to eat healthy and take care of my precious body so you have the safest cave a baby can wish for, I want you to know how much I love you already!



  1. “……………….___________” That was me, speechless and melted.


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