I just got home from dinner with Alison, the owner of Two For Two Cakes in San Francisco. When I was still dreaming the dream of growing Wishcraft Design into a thriving small business, Alison was my confidante and partner in crime. We attended workshops and seminars together, worked alongside each other in our homes and coffee shops. We bounced ideas off each other and discussed exciting topics like pricing, marketing, competition, bookkeeping and how on earth we will ever be able to shop at Anthropologie again.
Then I got pregnant. Which was the perfect excuse for me to shut down my business and blame it on the baby. I prefer to tell people who ask me about my business that I decided to focus entirely on being a stay-at-home mom. Truth is, I didn’t have enough clients to keep the business going and I had run out of ideas for client acquisition. Disappointment and feelings of rejection took over and got hold of me. ‘Failure’ seemed to be written all over my dream. Thankfully, we didn’t invest a lot of money – besides sacrificing the nice salary I earned at an advertising agency. And I managed to pay off most of my startup costs with the projects I had.
Today, as my friend filled me in on the status of her biggest (business) project to date – the opening of her own shop – I began to miss my entrepreneurial times and asked myself if I fought enough. Did I give up too easily? Did my dream die with my business?
Even though I love being a fulltime mom to Emma, I miss that recognition and affirmation you get from a signed client agreement and paycheck. When your client realizes that hiring you was a smart decision because you simplified her life. When you look at photos of an event and know that you created something your client truly appreciated and couldn’t have accomplished without you. When I traded party planning for naptime planning and event decor for nursery decor, I thought I had stopped being an entrepreneur. Suddenly, I realized that my desire to turn my passion into something people want (to pay for) was just buried under dirty diapers and plush toys. In fact, tt’s still in me. (Or why would I use about any occasion to (help) throw a party, coordinate or decorate something?)
I just need to find out how I can live out my creativity without compromising my goal to be a great mom. Because no matter how much I long to create, more than anything I want to seize every day watching my little daughter grow up, guiding her, shaping her and praying that my efforts will be fruitful.
Advice, ideas or job inquiries welcome. Do you have the entrepreneur gene in you? Are you a working or stay-at-home mom? How do you feel about pursuing your dreams while striving to be Super Mom? Or is becoming Super Mom your dream?