We are adoptive parents. We are not just talking, blogging, praying or thinking about it. After completing yet another application and attending an all-day seminar at our adoption agency (read here about our choice of agency), we made our first payment to the agency. Not that we are excited about spending money but this step marks another milestone in our adoption process. We are officially in their system as adoptive parents.
But first things first: Thanks to another wedding planning job and an anniversary gift from Grandma we were able to reach half of our adoption fundraising goal. Hallelujah. (On that note: Please do recommend my affordable yet excellent wedding planning services to that friend of yours who just got engaged!)
By now, Paul and I have read several books on domestic infant adoption, completed online classes, attended informative conference calls, and last Friday we drove out to the Central Valley of Northern California to join other adoptive couples for a seminar at our adoption agency. We would also meet our social worker for the first time. I was excited and a bit nervous.
We had planned to leave early but still just made it on time. (A classic disagreement between husband and wife: For Him, being on time means arriving when the event begins. For Me, it means arriving at least 15 minutes early.) Entering the conference room, I quickly noticed the melting pot of ethnicities and socio-demographics our intimate group of “parents to be” formed. A seminar-typical icebreaker exercise got us all quickly to chat and bond over our joint adventure. By lunch time, we were all friends.
Often couples turn to adoption after suffering through infertility. We (thankfully) can’t relate to the grief and feelings of loss that surface as couples struggle with infertility. Mr. Thrasher and I simply have a strong desire to grow our family through adoption. One may say God planted that dream in each of our hearts and our marriage was created to lead us to adopt. Too spiritual? Stay with me.
A calling is God’s personal, individual invitation to carry out the unique task He has for you.
As agency workers, a birth mom and a panel of adoptive parents shared information and stories, I had a revelation of the ministry adoption really is. Yes, we will have to pay a scary amount of money for the adoption but I can now see even clearer how this money is used to do God’s work. Along with the heartache, grief and darkness of adoption, comes healing, new life, a clean slate, an abundance of love and (sometimes) salvation. Not just for the children. But also for the birth mothers. And even for the adoptive parents.
That day, God’s voice spoke to us louder than ever. We know His calling for us to adopt will bring great challenges, doubt and frustration. We know not all of our friends are committed to supporting our adoption. (And that’s ok.) We know some family members still have lots of questions. (And so do we.) We know we are required to trim our spendings even more. (Can we ask friends and family to donate money while we still occasionally pay $4 for a latte or buy new shoes?) We won’t succeed at this task on our own. Only through the constant guidance and reassurance of the Holy Spirit will we be able to carry out this mission.
We left the meeting with more conviction, more faith, more courage, and more love for our new baby, its birth mother and her family.
And for one another.
On our drive home we made plans for teaching Emma about adoption, prayed over our next steps and were giddy like teenagers in love. We still don’t have a timeline and we never will but we know we are expecting, our family is growing and God is with us.
P.S.: If you are a follower of Jesus, will you join me in praying this prayer?
I pray that the church will be called to care for orphans in a way that leads more Christian families to adopt, to support other families who adopt, and to fight for legislation that makes adoption more accessible. By God’s grace, may every child who needs a permanent home become part of a loving family. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.