Mommy Peer Pressure

Inspired by friend Sarah’s blog name The Truthful Mom, I need to let down my pants (figuratively) and confess something. And between you and me, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only mom in the world who feels this way. If you’re really really really honest with yourself, you may even find some of these thoughts twirl around in your mind.

A single, male friend of mine was surprised when I told him about the mommy peer pressure. He had no idea something like that existed. So he encouraged me to blog about it.

Here’s how it goes: Believe it or not, peer pressure is not just for (high) school kids. It totally exists among mothers too. No matter how good your friendships are and how much you love each other but there is a bit of competition like which baby sleeps better during the day, who has the least problems nursing, which child learns to crawl/walk/speak the earliest and more importantly who looks put together and relaxed while pushing your stroller through the neighborhood.

That's pretty much how I look when I meet up with Emma's playgroup. Photo: Gucci

Come on, mommies! You have to admit that there’s a teeny tiny bit of jealousy popping up when you see how your girlfriend’s baby can fall asleep by himself without ANY crying. Or that girlfriend of yours who somehow manages to straighten her hair, put on makeup and keep her skinny denims free off vomit all day. Well, let me give it to you straight: I couldn’t stand hearing about my friends’ mellow super babies while I’ve been trying to cope with sleepless night after night. And I didn’t want to hear about the successful weight loss of another friend. Or watch her wearing her pre-pregnancy jeans so quickly again. It’s not that I wasn’t happy for them. You do wish your girlfriends the best, right? And you do want them to be blessed, yes? So what was wrong with me?

I’m gonna confess even more. I wasn’t just jealous of them, I was secretly looking at the areas where they had problems just to make me feel a bit better. Oh, God, forgive me for I have sinned. What an awful friend am I!

Now, go ahead, judge me. But before you do that, check yourself and see if there’s not a small piece of you that is a bit envious of another mommy friend. Some possible scenarios (not entirely¬†fictitious):

  • Your mommy friend has lost her pregnancy weight faster than you
  • Your mommy friend always wears perfectly applied make up and somehow manages to style her hair
  • Your mommy friend can afford the Mercedes of strollers
  • Your mommy friend’s husband helps a lot more than yours (Ha, that’s a good one. Comparing husbands is a favorite anyways. Oh, don’t tell me you’ve never done that!)
  • Your mommy friend got more gifts for her baby shower
  • Your mommy friend scored better deals on used baby gear on Craigslist

Ok, enough. You get the idea. I certainly didn’t mean to give you any ideas for negative thoughts with this list but I think you get my point.

The moral of this story: Mommy peer pressure exists. Most of it comes from our own insecurities and doubts. Why else do we compare ourselves to others? If we were truly content and grateful for who and where we are in life, than none of this would be an issue. Correct? So the question is how will you deal with peer pressure? Curious to hear what you think, girlfriend.

Holy smokes, we will be parents!

Considering that I am 19 weeks pregnant, these news are not so new anymore. (Do you still call it ‘news’ then?!)

But we like to tell the story of ‘how we found out’ anyways…

A couple of weeks ago, I was working on a project for Wishcraft Design, my business. The event was on a Friday night. The night before, I worked until 3am to design, craft and prepare. I was absolutely shattered the next morning, woke up with a nasty headache, felt disgustingly nauseous and just wanted to cry. On my way to pick up the party rentals, I had to pull over and…well…throw up. Thank God, I always have some of Griffin’s poop bags in the glove compartment!

With tears in my eyes, I called my friend Regina to ask for prayer and a word of encouragement. Regina always knows what to do and what to say to make you feel a bit better and a bit less defeated. God, I love her!

She asked me right away if I was pregnant. I said, no way! She said, well, you don’t know until you take a test. Like I said, she’s the smart one in our relationship!

I somewhat managed the event – thanks to the help of my wonderful husband and good friend Alison – and fell to bed after midnight. As soon as I woke up the next morning, I grabbed one of the pregnancy tests from my stack (every married woman should have those handy) and anxiously waited for that sign to show if my sickness and exhaustion could be blamed on a baby in my belly.

When I saw the result, I frantically called Paul into the bathroom.

With big eyes and a huge smile on his face he asked me: “Am I gonna be a dad?”

While Paul accepted the news right away, it took me several pregnancy tests and the official confirmation from 0ur family doctor that I was indeed expecting.

So, it is official: Paul and I will be parents!